you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
