he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
