as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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