I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
