i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
handjob tips. give me some.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
