The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
