i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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