Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
