sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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