it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
