oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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