So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
