Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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