I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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