is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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