What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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