I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am midnight drunk by noon
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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