I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
