It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
