Plan B is the new Plan A
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
