You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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