My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
