You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Randomize
