Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
