sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
