It's Friday. Sex?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
