Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
