u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
