I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
