She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize