dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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