I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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