I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
