I think my vagina is haunted
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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