I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Randomize
