oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
