and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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