i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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