I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she peed on how many people?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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