24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
