The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
