Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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