I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
