he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I look better un-naked...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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