i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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