It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize