Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My pussy is not your playground.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
