is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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