She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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