Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
