how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
