Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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