every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
