I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
