This is not my ceiling
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
