I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
