wakey wakey hands off snakey
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
