Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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