Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I have demons in me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
