i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
