He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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