she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
