i need an iv and a liver transplant
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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