haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
