I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
