it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
